If you would like to add your comments, email them to:
joe.seidler@upa.org

Player's Thoughts:

Great web page about the parents perspective. I can say from personal experience, having my dad at my tournaments is a great help. I play for Ring of Fire and the past 4 Nationals my dad has been in attendance. Possibly the greatest help comes from the fact that he takes care of all the details for me. I can show up to play, no worries about rental cars or meals, they are all taken care of, but that is an ancillary benefit. The obvious reward is the bond that is created between us. So, hopefully your website will get more players to offer those invitations to their parents. Congratulations to the Condors on their championship, your son had a large part in that. He shows great sportsmanship and also he is pretty tough to guard too.

Sandy

As an elite player over the last 12 years and as a coach of University of Maryland, I have experienced all levels of playing, leadership, and role modeling. My parents have a moderate interest, and have been out a couple of times, but have really failed to grasp the whole idea about Ultimate. More teams should have someone as dedicated [and with ridiculous time ;-) to burn] as the Condors. 

As a coach, I always stressed "best face forward" when it came to dealing with parents, teachers, athletic officials, sponsors, etc... to avoid the slacker attitude that Ultimate normally has. I guess it is just cool to see that without sponsorship and big money, Ultimate can have a big surge from a core of family, and that makes it that much more endearing.

Cheers,
Jim

Our son has been playing for several years, started in high school, was part of the U.S. Junior Team, and has been playing for Brown University (Brownian Motion) for the past three years. Ultimate is a great sport and it has influenced all of us in a very positive way. We are very proud of our son and the sport that he has chosen and has a great deal of passion for. We have been to several tournaments through the years and have housed and fed Ultimate teams now and then. The Ultimate community throughout the country has been great for our son and his team, wherever they have been. The Spirit of the Game exists on and off the field. It is wonderful.

Thanks again for putting the website up. Great idea.

Sincerely,
Steve

My daughter, Holly, sent me your paean to the sport of Ultimate and its athletes. It is beautiful. I am a long-distance Ultimate mom who made it to Nationals at the last minute when a meeting I *had* to attend was cancelled. Drove 700 miles to Sarasota and was thrilled to be there. There was one other parent (who had flown in from Westchester) there. It is astonishing to me that there is so little parental support of this wonderful game. Guess it isn't *official* unless you are sitting in the stands screaming at the referees and the kids...

We watched the Condors/DoG game...WOW! What an amazing game. Holly knows some of the Condors players from her travels to Ultimate games around the country and we were cheering for them. Told her to let me know as soon as she knew when/where the next Nationals was so I could start saving my money!!

Thanks again for sharing your perspective,
Lyn

I just had the chance to check out your website and think it's great. It's awesome that you have taken the time to put together such a nice site and to encourage other parents to come out. I love the respect you demonstrate for the game and its players and the obvious loving support you've given to your son and his team. It really exemplifies what, to me, is so great about this sport and to see it carried beyond the field and the players to the parents is fantastic. It meant so much to me to have my mom at Nationals (and only more so that she drove so far to get there). I can't imagine having not had her there. I've talked about Ultimate since I first started playing several years ago and she's come to every tournament possible. It's great to be able to share that with her and to know that she understands what a big part of my life it is.

Holly

There were two nodal communications that led to my going to some of Andy's games. He and I have been in reasonably close communication all his life, yet he was involved in Ultimate for several years before I ever suspected it was particularly important to him. He said to me one day, "This feels like the biggest thing I've ever done." I was taken aback. I'd heard him talk about it a bit, but I never thought it was more than a passing college diversion for him. Athletics and team anythings were never a big part of my college or young adult life, so it had never occurred to me that sort of thing might be important to him (and other NORMAL people). The other point was when I finally got the message that he CARED whether I saw him play or not.

So my suggestion is--somehow ask the kids (presumably on newsgroups or via e-mail whatever others means you try to establish to get to them) whether they have ACTUALLY TOLD their parents that playing Ultimate is important to them and whether they have ACTUALLY CONVEYED that they would be really happy about their parents COMING to see them play.

The other mechanism, if you can figure out how to contact Ultimate parents directly, is to convey to them that playing the game may be more important--much more important--to their kids than they imagine. And that--bless them--their kids would be really proud and pleased to have them watch them play.

Richard

Thanks Joe for encouraging me several years ago to attend my son's first national championship tournament. Win or lose they are an unforgettable life experience, not only with my son but with the entire team.

Phil

I am a parent of a Seaweed/Wahini player (University of North Carolina - Wilmington) and have been actively supporting the team for the past three years. As my daughter will soon graduate and be making the transition into club Ultimate, it is great to see that the parent contingent is still active at this level of play. Years ago, when my son was playing soccer, the coach made an interesting observation. He felt that the play improved when the parents were on the sidelines. It would be interesting to see if this is true when the "child" is now 25. I can attest that being on the sidelines definitely helps the parent maintain a more youthful outlook on life.

Diane

I'm so thrilled! To see my son this happy does so much for me and about everything I am or ever have been. I know you understand what I'm talking about. Thank you Marcia for the daily reports and believe me, if I had a private plane, it would have been the both of us soaring down to see that championship game.

With love,
Pam

It makes me very happy to think Ted includes me in his life. So many parents lose their grown children and only make the perfunctory visit a couple of times a year. Ted and I understand each other and really love being together.

Lots of love,
Carolyn

I've been playing ultimate since 1984, been to nationals about 8 times, and it's changed my life in many great ways. My mom has seen me play once, and my dad has never even seen the game. Not to take away from them, I've got a wonderful relationship with them and I get to spend lots of quality time with them on the golf course and eating meals etc... But ultimate is weird - it's such a big chunk of my life and one they don't "get."

Anyway, I've got a 3 year old and a 1 year old, and I wanted to let you know that you're sort of a role model for me - a parent who can find a way to be involved with his child's life without that need to compete vicariously or push them when they don't need pushing. I like to think I will be able to store away these lessons for later when I'll need them with my kids.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, and thanks for being such a cool dad.

Rich

My children, Julie and Matt Keck, started playing ultimate in Helena, MT when they were age ten and thirteen.  I love that they both find such satisfaction in this game. I started going to Bozofest in Bozeman, MT over ten years ago to watch my now adult children play. Julie was on the "Triggerhippy" team that won first place at Nationals in Sarasota in 2001. I watched her team in the San Diego Nationals, Sarasota Nationals, and on to Worlds in Hawaii in 2002, where they took third in the world. I tell my friends it's like having my daughter playing in the World Series and I wouldn't miss it for anything. "Triggerhippy" has retired, but now my son is on the "Gun Show" team hoping to make it to Nationals. We are going to Boise to watch the "scorcher" tournament over Labor Day and my parents age 84 will be experiencing an ultimate tourney for the 1st time.
 
I love being part of the Ultimate community. The players have become like family to me. I call myself the "team mom."  I'm always greeted with hugs and thanks for coming. I think the "Spirit of the Game" is what makes this sport so enjoyable. It's great to see grown professional adults at ages as old as 40+ still putting their bodies to the test. I've met great parents on the sideline as well as small children watching mom or dad play. It is definitely a whole family event.  I'll be going to ultimate games as long as my children, ages 29 & 32, continue to play.
 
Lorri
Billings, MT
August 2003